Day out with girls

They made me wait outside ladies restroom for 25 mins. I felt so abandoned and weak, when everyone saw me waiting outside the lavatory with ladies’ handbags and wallets.

A day before, I planned my evening after the last exams with two teenage girls. I have been out with girls before and so I know, someone will screw up. I stayed calm and the evening came.

As planned, I reached the assemble point, one of the friends’ home on time. I entered the house only to see the girl Bubbles, lying almost lifeless on beanbag, with Cindrella movie playing on the TV. If it was a stranger, he would’ve called the cops. But I, someone who knew that was her routine, brought her back to reality from Fairy land.

By good grief, the one who proposed the plan, Bunn entered the house, while Bubbles screaming, “I don’t know any plan! What? Are you people pranking me? I didn’t even bath yet!“; with Bunn interrupting, “So, what if you hadn’t taken a bath, you rarely do!“, and winked at me. I, as always clueless, buried my face in the newspaper left on the tea table.

Moments passed. As she took quite a long time to finish bathing, Bunn switched on the Television to show me some good horror movies. I maybe a “man” and she a “girl”, but I was the one closing half my eyelids and she, the one who teased me for my fear.

Bubbles after a good bath and a glamourous make-up came out of the room. The one who lied almost dead a few minutes ago, looked like a contestant in beauty pageant. But I didn’t admire her beauty, for all I wanted was to execute the plan.

We went down and suddenly Bubbles exclaimed, “hey! Adya also asked me out today. She’d get upset if I don’t take her now..“, with my growing tension, I looked at them only to be controlled by the both with a manipulating smile.

Again, finally, after minutes of waiting, they all gathered and we begun. Adya, the one who claims to know all the routes, lead us, with myself and Bubbles discussing all about women’s fashion and possibilities of time travel. Suddenly, there was a brake sound. It was none other than Adya. She looked so confused and I had to assist myself with virtual navigator. Again, we missed the routes, for Bubbles the incharge of directions wasn’t so good at reading maps.

After so much misdirections and misleading, we went to the destination as planned. All the three gasped at the closed shutter with a notice bearing, “Only on weekends” and we were one day short of weekends. The girls quickly hushed something and made a plan out of nothing. They lead again and I silently followed, with my GPS on.

They stopped a few blocks away from the Mall, they proposed to go now, and parked the bikes under a tree. Bunn, so easily said, “brother, please take care of our bikes” and even suprisingly got a positive response from an entirely unrelated tea-vendor.

I followed them silently to the mall, where they spent 500 pennies on unreal dashing cars. I was given the mobile camera to shoot their amateur game. They were confused and unable to drive the dashing cars for half the time. The man in-charge had to bring them back on track. Still, whatever was left, the three of them shared with screeching loudness. The time ended and the trio silently stepped away from the cars. The smile on their faces stayed for atleast two hours.

I was then made to follow them again, to the lavatory. They entrusted me with their valuables and Bubbles while saying, “we’re going to the restroom to take some selfies. Stay here..“, was pulled away by Bunn and Adya.

In the beginning, it was tiresome and idle. It was not Herculean but Sisyphian task. I lost my consciousness and I felt nothing. I just stood there after my legs couldn’t bear standing. I waited patiently for almost half an hour and they appeared before me. They didn’t look so happy. I could clearly see what upsets them, but before I could say a word, they cheered themselves up with what they have. They started their little chit chats, passing comments with hidden gossips on each other and sooner their smiles were restored.

They saw someone familiar, whom I am familiar to as the one who gossiped about a friend of the trio, but I couldn’t see any tension in the air. In fact, it was like a reunion of two long lost friends. They tolerated and smiled at each other, and went to an extent of embracing each other when they parted.

Out of nowhere then, Bunn asked what Bubbles would do if all her ex-boyfriends come together there. Before she could say anything, Adya shouted the whole place won’t be enough for that, and started running as fast as possible.

What can I do? I smiled as always and remained quiet.

Bunn probably wanted to ask a question in private, “why can’t you and Bubbles..“, interrupted by my senior who went on talking for a few minutes, but all that while, the three girls who were making high-pitched, remained calm and started talking silently with themselves.

After he took leave, Bunn resumed her question, “why can’t..“, now to be crashed by a phonecall from her mother asking her to leave at once. So, she hurried to her bike and they started their ride back home at once.

Myself and Bubbles stood alone in a busy street. With honking horns pressuring us to move at once, I extended the foot rest and she hopped on. We begun our ride back home. To escape the signal, the crowd and the noises, she asked me to take an alternative route. Maybe she felt like watching the stars too which were left unnoticed due to inventions of Edison and Stevenson. With me before her, she looked up and forgot to ask what she wanted to when she took me through the darkest roads.

Again, she begun, “Aru….“, and disturbed by the cosmopolitan loud truck horns. We both went mute, even till I dropped her home. She stopped after a few steps, paused, and went on.

I, started my engine, moved a few blocks away; turned back for one last time to see her room’s light being switched on and I left, finally being able to speak atleast to the forgotten stars.



On Progress

Treading the Earth, what many ask to people whom they consider as a higher level intellect is “How do you this?” or ”How do you excel in many things?”

Well, in reality, there’s nothing called higher level. There is only one level which can be bettered by practice. Consider a sportsperson. Do you think he’d spend all the time practicing? On contrary to many theories, it is a big no. Hence, it is clear that, it is never about how long you do anything. It is always about how you do it.

But, how can you actually see how you are doing it?

It is quite simple. Map your work. It’s not like keeping a track of what you do daily. It is actually opposite to what many great people suggest.


Ask yourself this simple question when you start your day and when you end it. “Have I justified the time I was alive today?” When you ask this to yourself, it’ll make you feel guilty if you hadn’t even progressed 0.1% more than the previous day.

The more the questions you ask, the more the self-evaluation you do, the more you progress!

Once you rule out the psychological problem, just at least to escape your guilt, every other obstacle becomes negligible to deal with. But when lots of negligible problems come at once, it’ll put you in a huge unfathomable crisis. So, start finding the issues around you.

Sociological and materialistic problems:
We live in a society where we are evaluated based on how we are than what we are. We cannot afford same color clothes as Mark Zuckerberg does to save his time. Hence, prepare your outlook a day prior to the execution. When it comes to materialism, eliminate whatever you spend more with.

This might sound absurd, but, Life is a gamble. Once you find yourself stuck with something, even though it means a lot to you on a psychological basis, get over it. Start something new. Completion and achievable targets always boost optimism and increase self-esteem.

Do these actually work?
Well, try to do something. If you fail, try again. If you find yourself in a loop of failures of whatever you start, setup a loop counter and slowly get over it.
If you yet can’t progress, ask questions, ask why you fail, and repeat the protocol. Eliminate the distortions and inspire people with it.

Try. Ask questions. Work. Achieve.


My favourite Sonnet!

My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips’ red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask’d, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than from the breath that of my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, but well I know
Music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I granted I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, she treads on ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.

Sonnet 130 by William Shakespeare.

If this isn’t the best way of describing a lover, I don’t know what is.

I shared this because I felt anyone who claims to be in love, must know how love is.

Love and incest!

“I will look after you like your father”,

“I will be your second mother”,

“I want you to look after me like my father did”,

“I want you as my mother”,

“You are like my father/mother”,

Looks familiar?

These two utterances are very famous amongst lovers. Some would question, “why do you need someone only as a replacement but not take them for their individuality?”

Well, it’s not that simple.

Let’s spare the first two quotations and move to the third and fourth: “I want you to look after me like my father did” and “I want you as my mother”. Don’t they sound incest?

Leave out the belief systems and look at every lover who uses them. IT IS INCEST!

But then why does it not feel awkward for us to use them in everyday social conventions? How did it become a part of romantic nuances?

Here is where Human instincts took over. Mammals in general have the ability to reverse engineer anything that can possibly be manipulated within their limited power. And so, words, love and psychology was easy to be reverse engineered.

According to Sigmund Freud, the offsprings of humans always held their biological parents as their model for relationship, in layman terms, the son loves his mother and the daughter loves her father (love here isn’t soulful, but sexual). Anyone else who breaches their zone of intimacy is only seen as a threat to their relationship.

This psychological desire is socially established when the son is expected to succeed his father and daughter to take care of household, after the phase of puberty. Hence, the son and the daughter attain a position equal to that of the sexual partners of whom they consider as their first love. Thus, what we see as incest, is something that is strongly rooted in our daily life.

Back to the quote, the latter quotes now might make sense and the above paragraphs would answer the question why do people look for their parents in their love?

But, Why did I speak of reverse engineering?

Here is where the first two quotations must be seen. “I will be your second mother” and “I will look after you like your father” are nothing but easy deceptions to lure anyone’s choice of man or woman into the institution of relationships. These are evolutionarily reverse engineered such that today’s youth without even knowing the root of this utterance use them in their everyday life.

They are giving out hopes to satisfy them as someone whom they wanted badly but could never have them due to social norms and taboo. Hence, it is human tendency to easily accept someone who resembles their opposite gender parent and pathetically fall for the simple manipulation of mind using Freudian psychology. Falling for anyone with such wand is one’s own choice.

Well then, what about the last one?

“you are like my mother/father”,

That’s the most fraudulent statement any person could ever utter. That’s the simplest and decent way of planting ideas in one’s mind to make you feel responsible for them, since you are given a consolation as parent figure. Your patronizing that individual and them utilizing you is again a simple trick of psychology, when you gratify what you once desired from a parent as you pacify the manipulator and them having their desires fulfilled from someone whom they recoginze as a parent figure.

Hence, all these are simple tricks played on minds of people as how dolphins learned to communicate with humans and how wild wolves turned into different shades of household canines.

Next time, when you judge someone based on their interests or their relationships based on the social norms setup by people of generation unknown, remember we all are mere mortals in this incestuous game of life.

If love isn’t a taboo, it could never be love.


In 10 years…

Why learning??
Now, you are famous okay.

You may have 40000 followers, okay.

You have people to comment and like whatever you post, no matter how worthy they are, Okay.

 You maybe a dubs celebrity, okay. 

You may have a DSLR, Okay.
But just remember, you are a show business. You are no different from item numbers who be forgotten after the songs and remembered only when bored. 

Of course you’ll be recognized. But in a few years, when you get old, when there’s no show for you, you’ll just be forgotten.

If you are a dubs persona, good. But can you act? Can you touch the soul of a spectator? Can you relate with what’s real and what’s surreal?   Sadly, no. 

Same with a DSLR holder and other such people.
That’s why I insist on development of oneself rather than falling prey for these social media hype.  These changing trend have the ability to forget people faster. 
So keep reading. Keep learning. Learn technicality. Learn what’s soul touching. 

Be an actual pro!



Read not just the fiction

Read not for consolation

Read not for pride

Read not for social status

Read not just to read

Read not to escape reality

Read to see the reality

Read to brood humanity

Read to know righteousness

Read for the world

Read for yourself.



Kamala – a simple review.

A day will come when I will stop being a slave. I’ll no longer be an object to be used and thrown away. I’ll do what I wish, and no one will rule over me. That day has to come. And I’ll pay whatever price I have to pay for it.”

– Sarita, Act 2, Kamala.

Kamala, a play by Vijay Tendulkar is one of the wonderful examples to show that one can please their audience with the same realism which lashes out the social evil entertained by them.
It is of two acts which obeys the unity of place, like in majority of Tendulkar’s plays. The fluctuations in the play occurs when Kamala a controversial character is introduced.
Kamala, an adhivasi woman who was a victim of slave trade, represents the entire womanhood of the mid and late 20th Century.

The beauty of the play is that the pathetic reality of the lives of comfy,educated,married and proud women was shown to them by an uneducated, dark and downtrodden Kamala. Kamala unfolded that no woman is too different from her. Her innocence is the powerful weapon handled well by Tendulkar.
The attack on the ignorance of women is just a cover to the actual attack on the selfish deeds of men and how they easily get away with all their unjustifiable acts with a simple cloak – “manliness“.

As I said, Tendulkar’s plays have a direct approach towards the audience like letting the victim speak but also realistic.
In kamala, the protagonist Sarita speaks, “Why? If a man becomes great, why doesn’t he stay a great man? Why does he become a master?”. This one utterance clearly deplores the entire social setup which supports the dominant masses.
Whereas towards the end, the helplessness of Sarita is clearly shown when she acts empathetic towards whom she wanted to tear apart just before the final minutes.
Tendulkar also criticized the modern working ways of journalists and journalism. The remark by Kakasaheb, “This new journalism of yours – if money making is not the object of it – then it’s a vandhya-sambhog…”, will echo in your thoughts throughout the play.
The amusement felt by the two men , who in the play represents modern men above poverty line, makes the normal masses look at them with disgust. Despite them being a journalist, they both laugh at the harassing and humiliating questions put to Kamala about free sex. When Jaisingh says “...she laughed too, just because others were laughing. She hadn’t understood a thing...”, anyone could feel the brutality.

Vijay tendulkar, brings into the light the plight of women rather than making his dramas as his mouthpieces of his revolutionary ideas.

Towards the end, woman’s liberation and activism mostly fails because of their belief systems which hold stronger roots to the hegemonic elements and social evils. No matter how rebellious she speaks, she is a slave for her feelings for she pities and empathises with the wrong doings of the same man who enslaved her.

Women are looked up as the tools for procreation and their human values are rejected. What’s more pitiful is women works not as a whole but their discriminative ideas never let them unite, visible in Kamalabai’s prejudice towards Kamala.

My perception can be put in an one liner.
“Marriages are cages crafted by the hegemonic elements of the society!”

Hence this play deal with a lot of unspeakable things happening in our society. This play of Vijay Tendulkar can be interpreted in multiple ways and thus this remains as a genius of his.


Our birthdays!

Birthdays are something so special for people. Some would say that it is the on my day where it’s all about yourself.

But, in our case it’s a little different. Ours I mean by not you and me, but I and her. Ever since she stepped into my life, it’s always been “ours“!
We are not like what people usually are but we are not too isolated from the ways of society too. Birthdays for us is something like any other day. We don’t do anything extraordinary on any particular days, for we revere and love each other not less on any other days.
But we tried. Yes, we did. It never felt like betraying our beliefs or violating our ideologies, but all we felt was love for each other.

I remember every word she said. “Please don’t do anything special. Although I’d like a simple wish from you!” are those.
Helpless I stood from a distance, witnessing every wish she had. Unable to make her feel special, which she hates for we adopt communism at times, I never spoke to her that whole day. And she, keeping up her ego alive, didn’t bother to ask too!
Day fell asleep and night rose darker, so did we. But at one point, since I had to speak with her on an official basis, for we are not just typical lovers but we’re partners like the Curies, she broke the ice. After all my whining, she said,simpler than ever, “…but I said I could use a simple wish from you. If you are angry, then I am angry too…” and she reasoned “everytime I talk with you, you treat me with thoughtfulness, I don’t know if I deserve that. That’s why I wanted to have the return gift of mine- a day off for all your efforts and rest for today!”
As we are not too much into emotional burdens of a relationship, we left that argument and started our usual discussion on literature and evolving theories of humanities.

Don’t judge me or her, for at least she made a statement clearer to me, whereas I insisted people in touch with me to not attempt to make anything with respect to birthdays a day before and went hibernating.

But a quarter hour before clock stroke twelve, she came to not let me sleep at peace. I was tired and so was she. But we stayed up for another fifteen minutes despite the fact, we both dislike special treatment.
It was a clean wish which made me realise the value of wish that matters. A simple note of gratitude without much amplification or ornamental words.
That’s what we love in each other. That’s what we see in each other too.
Yes. We both are too much for each other, but never once we felt abundant or devoid of any conventional human emotions.
We vetoed the concept of spending our lives in making our partner the one we desired to live with. If one spends the whole life for making home a better place to live in who’d care about our world?


Dance like a man!

What’s wrong if a man is trapped in a woman’s body or a woman is trapped in a man’s body?

Majority would say, “Arrey.. We’re in 21st century yaar! They have their social groups goes by LGBTQ. Things have changed!”


Things have changed for those people who suffer with hormonal alterations. What about people who want to remain in their own gender identity but loves the complementary elements more?

What if a man wants to remain a man but loves feminine attributes more? What if he wants to grow big beard, ride muscle bikes, hit the gym but loves flowers, ornaments, cooking and feminine artifacts? What if he really can’t change his behaviour which puts him in embarassment? What if a person wants to be called a man but wants to be a woman? What then?

Where does this society keeps them? Do they have social groups like LGBTQ? Where could you place them?

There are also the questions one should consider when talking about gender equality and gender studies.

Dance like a man by Mahesh Dattani questions the caste system, the impact of social setup inside a family setup, the patriachal discourses and actual freedom of an individual in a independent country. The brillance of the playwright is so visible when one can imagine this to be performed while reading this. The violation of three unities is the beauty of the play. The four actors in the play are like four legs of a chair. Critical analysis of this play makes one question a lot of things prevailing today. This play is a whole package!

Some never fading questions are…

We are living in 21st century. Yes! But are we really progressive? That’s the actual question. Have times really changed? Can a man dance bharatanatyam as a woman does boxing?

Only when we give up the so called “social conventions”, we’d know.


Who should you fuck?

If you carefully analyse every social group, its rules are constructed with Sex as the base. Sex plays a major part in determining the sanctity of a human in our world. If a man loves a woman, they can’t have children just like that. Only if their heir is legitimate, their union is considered righteous.
I will take up a typical example how this union plays a major part in colonising the minds of people. In traditional Indian Hindu wedding, the bride and groom repeat the mantras told by a vedic brahmin. Only when this happens, the people of previous generation believe that the wedding is complete. Similarly in Christian weddings, a pastor weds the couple and so in every tradition, the hegemonic elements root themselves so strongly yet invisibly.
So now when you see, the so called arranged marriages in India unknowingly give the supreme power of authorising a union to someone who manipulated the scriptures for their own benefit.

Likewise, the biggest advantage of the hegemonic community is our ignorance about sex. Sex being considered as haram and something unspeakable, makes them gain more power on us, by silently making us kneel to their opinions. Those foundations laid by them tell us who to fuck and whom not to fuck! The very haram, the private matters of the orthodox people becomes a matter of business, for in weddings, right from date to final selection of bride by consulting an astrologer, and even till the wedding night sex, this group of people benefit a lot by invading our weaker ignorant mindset.

To keep track of their ethnicities, they command you whom to marry and whom to have children with! And those who doesn’t oblige with those social norms are considered impure and satanic.

Who are anyone to tell anybody whom anyone should fuck?
Isn’t sex an individual’s liberty?