Are we grateful?

This blog is full of negativity, which I think everyone should embrace.

We all are gifted with everything. If not everyone, at least the ones with a smartphone or a computer with good internet connection, reading this sentence right now.

We have three meals a day, either good or bad. We have shelter to protect us from drunken celebrities driving their car in platform. We have different groups ready to fight for us for their own propagandas. We have everything.

But have you ever thought about people who don’t have any of these?

Have you thought of the “other”?

Other here doesn’t just represent the people of labour class. Other are people who don’t have anything you have, that includes social respect gender privilege.

Now is the time you have to turn back to the pages of history that’s always censored in schools and cunningly hidden from us for ages.

How did we ever get here?

We were denied education, freedom of choice to occupation and even the land we deserved to have us buried. Some got monuments and some ended up in landfills.

It took years of rebellion and revolution to get something nearer to equality that we have now. If it weren’t for people like Periyar and Ambedkar, I don’t think we’ll be with some acceptable identity today.

But, are we grateful?

Sadly, NO.

Even after everything is given to us, we are lazy to educate ourselves and even if we do, we are not ready to educate others with the fear of them surpassing us.

We are preparing ourselves to go back to gutters, to loan money, to be imprisoned in the loop of bondage and eventually slavery.

Today, we aren’t manual scavengers, but at this rate of turning lazy to work, to earn bread and respect, we’ll soon get back to the dark ages of history and bright ages of religion, where everyone other than God’s men get back to where they belongs according to Manusmriti.


So, it’s high time you realise that you have to educate and agitate. It’s not about you being educated, it’s about the “other” being educated.

So learn, speak, shout, educate and agitate.

Someday, someone will hear our voices.



Love to me…


For anyone ever loved, love is not a poem nor a motivating factor, but love is only memories.
Love is that portal which makes you travel faster than even light anywhere you wish to be.

And how would anyone write, if they never loved?
Love is not something that should definitely be a success, for many wise men I know today were stupid lovers once. It might not be a refreshing aroma to everyone, but for sure it is a memorable nostalgia, to look back at least once and think, “Wow! Was I that idiotic?”

Whoever vigorously working towards their goals now, will definitely have a story with which majority of their old school friends still judge them or call names with. I don’t think that changes however older or mature you become. Sometimes when you say “I love you“, unaware you spill their name to follow, because that’s what you’re once used to. Sometimes, any other name won’t fit, not even slightly perfect there, so you’d never love or at least not say those three words like you once did.

Is it important for everyone to fall in love? Today, I’d say no and many would fear the question too. But years back, I, the boy who never knew the real world, would’ve said yes. That’s the difference love causes to you. It creates a person before love and after love, with no certainty how the non-linear graph would go.

If you don’t hold memories of your loved ones with everything you see, I’d doubt if you really were in love. Even today, somethings in my life never changed from how it was 8 years ago. It’s because of every love I ever had. Women of my life. I don’t think I’d be the person I am today, if I never had different relationships with different intentions for each one I had.

It should be called “date”, but I don’t prefer using them. They weren’t mere attempts in knowing them nor they were test subjects. I loved everyone as I loved any one of them. The seriousness and maturity, it might differ, but love, it was impartial. To call it merely a date, subsides what was between us. Anyone who ever loved, more than one, who still faces the same criticism as me, and still dare to love once more, can love better than anyone.

Love taught me everything. Love introduced me to the discrimination existing in the world. Love made me a victim of every subjugation of the world. Love shaped anyone who ever love. It discourages you, sometimes even shatter everything you are. It will break you from within and make you something you never even thought you’d become. A drunkard, a sex addict, mentally unstable , anything it might be. But when you rise above whatever trauma it caused, you become impenetrable everytime.

As how you turn back pages of your life and think, “Why didn’t anyone tell me how stupid I was?” and smile thinking about some random memory just like that when someone asks you if you ever been in love, to smile 20 years from now, have hopes and fall in love even if you know how cruel it is.


It makes a difference.


For Freshers!

This blog is for first year college students. There is always a dilemma and students suffer the most in initial semester. Hence, I made is blog not for Losers who want to enjoy, but aspiring dreamers.

You are young and full of energy, don’t let your stupid decisons and priorities in college change that.


The Induction:
I’ve been to a lot of colleges – Engineering, arts and science, medicine, architecture, etc. Everywhere the induction happens so grand with HOD, Professors and sometimes Principal addressing with warmth.
But, don’t get carried away by friendliness.



Everywhere in the world, there is hierarchy. That’s the reason who USSR collapsed was denying it, because hierarchy helps in maintaining order and discipline. But Hierarchy in college sometimes lead to pedagogical politics, I.e. partiality, prejudice, categorizing, etc.So, the First advice is

“Don’t dare to break lines”.

When you speak with anyone, say even seniors or peons, stand three feet away, address politely, yet BOLDLY.
Your respect for order should not be mistaken for submission or obedience.



College is your Second chance. Whatever you didn’t do that made you useless, do them now! Start Fresh! Start New!

Stay mysterious. The more calm you are, the more time you get to see things. The more properly you see, the better you analyse. Don’t randomly speak with everyone. Use One word substitutes whenever you are asked to introduce yourself. Maintain proper postures. Because every little sign you display in the real outside world, delivers a meaning and contributes to judgement of your character. You might not give a damn about it, but when you need something, it won’t be given.



It prevails everywhere and unlike schools, colleges keep you under observations. A moment of wrong doing can cost you your college life. Sometimes, Your basic amenities won’t be proper, say ventilation or water or LAVATORY.

People will be intrigued to go on a strike, but don’t rebel with masses. Follow the order, take your complaints to people in the next step above you (they know what problems will happen) and from there to your tutor and then to HOD and then to Office. This is how the system works. Don’t act too smart.


Social structure and people:
This is the most important step where everyone fails. “Never judge anyone”.
Once you’re out of schools, you’ll get into actual world. You’ll see invisible subjugation. It could be from people who are of higher caste or from Capitalist’s children or from political persona. It is so invisible that you can only feel the negativity and something is absolutely wrong. This is inevitable.

Whatever your ideology is, don’t make it clear for others. Say, if you are a Periyarist, and you make it clear for everyone, and if your professors are casteist, you’ll feel miserable by how you’ll be treated. (Again, not all, some orthodox people.)

Don’t get those into your system. You can explore about it through books of Marx, Engels, Ambedkar, but don’t let it affect you.


This is probably the most important step to be better than any. Be a pet of professors. For this, you shouldn’t lay traps or be a slave for them, but you have to challenge them on an intellectual level with politeness.
Go Sit in the first bench or wherever you can communicate with them directly. Talk to them. The more you interact with your professors, the more you know things.
Your seniors or friends will make fun of them. Keep away from such people.
To get to a position of teaching, They must know something better than you. Respect that. Check their profile in college website and admit you know a very little than them.

Have Gurubakthi!

This might be sanskritized term, meaning to worship teachers, but only if you revere their knowledge (not the individual, because many times as a person their perception and ideas are wrong), you can learn stuffs.


Making friends:
This is where reading those will help. Choosing right people. Conscious acts in a way that you won’t be conscious about it. Before you know you’re in wrong path, your wrong companions would’ve taken over you.
This might be very childish. But Choosing right people around you decides the game. Friends are like auctioned players, the wiser your choices, the easy you win. You need both on Earth people and Aspirers, to find both in Same person is your luck.

Choose people, love or crush or friends, who are a step ahead of you, who make you feel insecure and feel afraid of where you stand and intimidate you with their understanding of the world. You, to get along with them, will have to work harder.


Majority Film and Media portrays toppers as some lame persona who don’t know anything else. Honestly, toppers work harder without parties or disturbing factors. They understand the fact that in 3-5 years, they will have to get independent and make money and gain a social position for themselves. They don’t rely on reasons and excuses which every unemployed use for not getting a job or position.
So, make friends with toppers. BE A TOPPER.

Being a topper isn’t about grades and classes. It’s about your extensive learning and updates about your field of study.

You should find proper seniors whom your professors refer to. With them, attend seminars and coferences. Still, don’t associate yourself with anyone or anything. Keep your informations a secret. Dont be an open book.


College life:

You know what ruins our generation? Wrong mindset! Plan your college life properly, start making progressive friends outside your college, share syllabus, because more than real friends, virtual friends help the most without wanting for anything in return. Connect with a lot of people over proper platforms.

Be proud of your course! You may do any course, willingly or unwillingly. But once you’re into something, start exploring them. Don’t be one of the masses. Try to master whatever you study. Never hate your education, not everyone gets it.

Don’t be too helpful, you’ll be used. You’re not sent to college to reform people. Study and get lost.


Again, this blog is for pupils who are stepping inside college. You can learn by yourself, but it will be too late, really late.

So try to buy what I’m selling, and help your fellow human out too.


Look back in anger!

Do you know?

No girl in India after 14 years of age can say they’ve never experienced Sexual harassment or atleast a bad touch.

I wanted to write on this, but a man can never create what a woman been through. So, as I’ve asked one of my friends to create one, she wrote this.

Her name is Sindhooja. Special thanks to her for trying.


I may sound like a feminist ,but I’m not the one who always wants not equal importance but more priority, who are against Only male dominance, who always shout that we bleed 5 days in a month and seek empathy and power. These are something every girl should possess, as Men have their own problem.


Have you ever been sexually harassed?
First of all, due to our education system’s failure I must explain What sexual harrassment is. Sexual harassment is when someone takes sexual advantage on you , when it is not mutual. In India, averagely every girl and woman has been through this . That could have been by a stranger or even a well known person from your family , well actually , no men is exemption. That could be anyone.

I was very surprised to know that my very own sister who shares every bit of her life with me has been harassed in her childhood. She didn’t mean not to tell me but she was helpless. She didnt know whom to tell then. It was her driver who did that . So, it is obvious that he would have did the same to many girls. He won’t stop unless someone asks him straight on his face . But none did.

We all know to protest against rapists , to shout that they must be killed but not a simple question against the men we already know. From Nirbhaya to Asifa , we are also responsible.

Have you guys seen Velaikaran movie?

A scene comes where the mother character tells her son, “You just need to show a simple opposition” . Simple as that . The fact that they are been noted is itself enough. All you need to do is to just question them.
Here is the story of Laura. She has been sexually harassed by her own brother in her childhood. She was not even matured enough to know that it was harassment. But later when she got to know that it was an abuse, it started haunting her. Here it’s not someone else, a stranger. It’s her own brother . She had to face him everyday.
When she sought some elders help , all she heard was “Every girl goes through this, we have no other go , we just have to sit back “ . And she was instructed not to tell anybody about that , it was her brother after all , they all asked her “Don’t you want your brother’s life to be peaceful? If you tell about this, just think what will happen to his future?”. So like every other women , she has to keep that to herself and gift his brother a peaceful life .

But she didn’t just sit back . She asked only one question to his brother.

“Is your daughter safe with you?”
“Why? She’s lying next to me.”
“Just had to make sure she isn’t going through what I did in your hands.”

Slowly when he realised that she knew. Now, He’ll live his whole life guilty. And I’m damn sure he’ll bring up his son not like himself, if he has one.
This might sound sadistic, but only because people don’t want to hurt anyone and bear sainthood , every minute some innocent is being punished. Those could be parents, teachers or even friends who wants to be “nice” rather than honest and critical.

All we need to do is to just raise a question.
Let’s just make sure, we’ll question at least from now on.

#Sindhooja Selvakumar

Steps of breakup!

This is not the need of the hour but this is the ultimate need of anyone who’s entering new life.
We all know about love and at let over in a man’s lifetime, there’s a bitter experience with respect to love.
This won’t be an advice for we all know how it is to be advised. This talks about love just to connect with readers on a most generalized note.

Why do people love?
People will give numerous explanations for the abstract concept of love. But it will put this materialistic. People love to love. There’s no better explanation for it. At that point, they need a companion. Love for love’s sake.

Why do people leave?
It’s not necessary for one of the couples to have definite reasons for a break up. All they need is some disturbance, either psychologically or socially.

For example,
1) people use “caste” as a reason for too long. First they speak brave notes, questioning the entire base of caste, but when they get bored, they use the same parameter. This is social disturbance.

2) people use any knowract reasons. They say we control them, or we are too much for them, or we are too progressive that we overshadow them and this goes on. This is psychological disturbance.

In both these cases, we see that they don’t have a valid point, still we go by what they sell us. Because we have no other go. If we deny these and be stubborn, we will be suddenly framed as negative persons and every friend of them who once were friendly will come to defend them as if we’re going to hurt them.


BUT, Third is worst. In fact, third causes the most heartbreaks that will shake the sanity of a person.

3) Reasonless breakups.
This is easily traceable yet people will be too much into love that they miss them. First, there should be either of the two former disturbance. Using them, not directly, there is a sign of unrest between the couple. It is called as first fight, after which love doesn’t remain the same.

The partner will start avoiding you. The best reason they use are the exams, which is the most rational and undeniable. When enough space is created between them, the decider will plot the separation in a way that they will still earn the masses’ support.

The most common companion they use for this is the mutual friend who has an interest over the decider. Believing that the next alpha is the friend, they’ll help them plot against the passive lover who thinks the decider is studying. Sometimes the friend who plays the saint, when got closer enough, will become their fling (only to be broken later).

When exams or any space provider is faded, when they have no more reasons, they use whatever reasons possible. One easy example reason is the exams and how the passive showed no interest.

In short, once they decide to break up with you, you will see how toxic they are.

There’s the dangerous of all way. To never let one know they moved on and thus the passive wastes all their life believing they have love but actually doesn’t.


What to do?
Again, you have to figure it yourself. Everyone had troubles. Actually there are bigger and worst crisis in life. When you’re young and new to the world, you might think your world is gone or your love life will never bloom again. But it will.

Do any shit in the name of love.
But always know, it won’t last.


This is intentionally written in loose words. This doesn’t address any he or she. This is common for even LGBTQ. If you didn’t go through this, wait. You will. Try “love and incest” by same writer.

KAALA – a symbol !


kaala hd

First of all, I should say something. I’m not a fan of Rajini. I never admired his acting talents. I never liked or revered him as I loved Vijay Sethupathy or Dhanush for their acting. I never liked his politics personally, or his ideologies.

BUT, to commit with a movie like Kaala, after reading the Whole script of it, without asking Ranjith to compromise any of his ideologies, providing him space to speak and convey whatever he wanted to, requires a greater class of humbleness. This movie is a slipper shot to Rajini himself and whatever he spoke in his entire life. BUT, Rajini stood by the crew and completed this. This clearly shows us , With respect to Indian Entertainment, there’s ONLY ONE SUPERSTAR.

Kaala is totally a class apart from other mainstream Rajini movies. Here, the Superstar isn’t the hero. The actual hero is the entire crew of Ranjith. The director at his shot of redemption, showcased us what he learnt from his previous mistake with Rajini. He had his space and freedom and conveyed Body politics and Land politics with respect to Fanon’s Orientalism or Communism or Colonialism. Only a learned man, who’s strong and resourceful in what he speaks, with clarity, can deliver such a product. From the beginning till the end, we can see Rajinikanth as an actor during KB sir’s time. An actor speaking the script, that was written even before his announcement of entering politics. Who knows, maybe Kaala triggered him to.

MUSIC! SaNa probably the best of our era in BGM mixing. I won’t doubt it. Fitting music. Arouses tension. Gives us heart attack. Silence with only necessary music. Minute sounds like slippers! ❤


Full spoiler- understanding Climax and feminism breakdown video of mine in youtube : watch only if you’ve watched the film.

There is frame, where after his house is burnt, Rajini stands in smoke and darkness. with beautiful tyndall, the best frame I’ve seen Rajini in.


When we read anti-heroic books, that rereads history and deconstructs it, we can see the Rise and Fall of the tragic hero. We can have a similar feeling in Kaala. Right from the beginning, An old man, empathetic and compassionate towards his subjects, someone who shows grandparenting and stuffs, reminds me of every Asura, who vanquished.


As Mjolnr is for Thor, we all know who’s famous in India for Black Umbrella. Periyar himself. And almost whenever there’s orange in film, we can see Periyar’s statue or books near it. We can also see “caged” ambedkar in one frame. BLACK is greater symbol than anything. And in an animation sequence, we can see labour party/ communist party symbol of hands risen with wedge. This combination of Aestheticism, Symbolism and Politics is very rare in Movies.

# Everytime when Kaala’s family get together, it’s not just his family, the entire Dharavi unites. Kaala’s family isn’t just his blood. It’s his Cheri, his people too. There are no exemptions, not even 5 sensed animals. The ASURA FAMILY where no one sits back when he main shoot of the tree fights and sacrifice their lives to protect the land the main shoot’s root hold. It’s so beautiful.

ALSO, Family members of Kaala, have right to decision and speaking. Nothing is imposed there. Nothing is preached there. But, in RAM’s house, even a little girl is preached who’s who and who dies.

# We can see an Asura kingdom there. THERE IS NO HEIRARCHY. Whenever Kaala speaks, his wife intercepts; women is his family have the freedom to intervene. There is no hiding. THERE IS NO CULTURE, just like in an Asura kingdom. Everyone gets angry. Everyone expresses whatever they feel. There’s FREEDOM.

Whereas in RAM’s home, When men speak, women have to get inside. It’s not for privacy, but out of fear of culture and hierarchy.

another beauty is How Asura respects home not just as material, but with emotions. RAM wears footwear inside home, but when Kaala enters, he leaves it outside. Every minute detail is Beautiful.


Whenever this music plays, there is Petrichor (the sweet smell of rain when the first drop kisses Earth). There is absolutely no embarrassing feel for anyone when the married Karikalan falls in love everytime he sees his ex-lover. There is redemption and salvation there. Anyone who ever had a mature love, that’s faded due to cultural/social/stereotypical impact, will feel a blade piercing their heart.

#KAALA’s SELVI … Again Ranjith here proves his impartiality. Any man without a RIGHT woman is nothing. He can protest, he can write, he can fight, but He will be faded for there’s none to keep him balanced. The importance of Selvi in this film is proved everytime when she saves Karikalan, who is the savior of Dharavi. A Mature love there breezes into our soul.

COMMUNIST without knowing what communism is.( HALFBOILS):

Kaala is an extremist. Yes. He respects both Gandhian ways and Extremist ways. But he doesn’t believe in Ahimsa. He knows how to get things done, rather than sitting back for generations later the justice to be served. Ranjith here criticises people who protest without knowing why they do or who they are against. When they realize their facts to be partial, it will be too late.


The clean pure Lord Ram whose mere shadow freed the cursed as he treads is someone who wants to make everything CLEAN. No one else in India could pull what Nana Patekar did. Everytime when he appears on screen, any Bhakth of him will worship him. Such powerful his mere screen presence is. The pure plain simple clothes, but with GOLD pins and buttons and watch and Footwear of Devas…. best! Nana the man who wants to rule everything, ambitious to make his rivals fall at his feet.

His eyes speak cruelty is this scene:


When an activist who went to make peace with him, was asked “what’s your husband?” . When she replied, “ I am a single mother” , the entire RajyaSabha with Lord RAM himself there changes their perception. The scene is cut off.

When she was asked to Touch his feet, she looks at everyone in the room. Its filled with 4 men, who worships RAM! She has no other go. When she walks out, she ADJUSTS HER DUPATTA. Not even great lord ram can protect her when the Servant NANA wants to see her falling breasts. GOD’S DOING!


We can see parallelly how when GODS strike on ASURAS the commoners suffer. How women are treats by GODS. How MERCIFUL gods are.

We can see Rajini reading RAAVANA KAAVIYAM. We can feel the heat between two forces. We can see how rebellions can be curbed. We can see how ONE MISTAKE (drunk) can cost us everything.


Is it too Classic? Is it slow? Is there too Non-Superstarish elements? Won’t satisfy general audience?

Actually, from a creator like Ranjith, you can’t expect a K.S.Ravikumar. There is revival of Lost love and Discovering what’s real. Here Rajini is one of us, with a little heroic quality. Rajini does what everyone of us can. Kaala is You, Me and anyone who understands what’s politics and what’s imposed on us. Like Ranjith says, “Only the learned and readers do greater sins and corruption than the common non readers. Understanding and Rationalism is a basic quality. You don’t need to read for it”.

#KAALA! Just before the interval block, NaNa will ne humiliated. I don’t think there’s greater heroism.


He is “Oththa Thala Raavana”. But This time, Ranjith gave a fitting ending without leaving ambiguities, like every Rebel’s movies does. He as a film maker, used Rajini as an actor to reflect and convey what society needs to understand.

But will Rajini die? yes. But Kaala never dies.

Kaala is not a man. Kaala is colour. Kaala is symbol. Kaala is idea. Kaala is ideology. Alluding batman, You can kill and corrupt a man…but not a symbol.

Kaala lives.


You must watch this in theatres. Mere words can’t comprehend what DOP and EFX team did there. There is a separate team for Colours.


You get to see Animation of something never expected. Ranjith gave us the expected and unexpected. PLEASE watch the movie in theatres. I loved the post credits. Everyone’s name appeared on screen. WUNDERBAR won!

This is a classic. Best of Rajini I’ve ever seen after Aarilirundhu Arubathu varai, which had no heroism, but kills our hindsights. KAALA TALKS OF THE “OTHER”, Simon de Beauvoir speaks of.

These are words of a reader, a literature and play lover. These words are from my heart, which was tense and heavy throughout the film, when cruelty happens on screen, esp against women. IT’S WORSE. Take grown ups, and teach them politics there. Ranjith Won! Rajinikanth Proved himself as an actor.

Can we speak?

“Who are you? Where are you from?” These are the two questions asked by a youngster on a famous actor/politician who visited a hospital for his own publicity. After a day, he posted a clarification video in favour of the star addressing him as “Thalaivar”.


Where is democracy?

We are asked to fight for justice. When we do, what happens? Someone comes out of nowhere to lead the protest. If denied, he dismissed the entire crowd with superior forces.

Today, even to protest, one has to be qualified. Qualified, not with previous experience or education, but with an identity that comes from someone else. He should be a son of someone who holds a position in politics, openly or silently; Or he should be someone who has contacts of people who can contain people by their physical might and menpower.


What happens when the righteous person has none of these?

Well, it’s so simple. You can see a video of him speaking creamy words about the one he fought against, posted from the social media accounts of the supporters of the one he spoke against.


If one isn’t brave enough to fight these, how can he lead?

Seriously?! This is not cinema. No heroism works here. When one rises their voice for something, they will face threats from fans or supporters, sometimes even directly from the leaders themselves. It’s so easy to defame people in this virtual world where people don’t do fact check before they speak. With the more henious attention hungry social media pages, anyone can be laughing stock or social evil in minutes.

“Someone came to me and took a selfie with me. The picture went viral in few hours. Only then I knew the guy has a case filed on him for burning the national flag. Within hours, I was labelled anti-national”, says the protestor.

The same social media which blames the mainstream media for being biased is no different from the latter.


What can be done?

This is a solutionless paradox. We are fooled with ideologies and orations of leaders.

“Freedom is life’s greatest lie” – Loki

We are given a freedom of choice only to choose something within what’s provided for us. If only one is provided for us, we have our freedom to choose the One! That’s how democracy works.

With tens speaking rationalism with secular approach, and hundreds being racist in a whole set of a democracy, who’ll rule? Rationalist or Racist?


Where is Freedom?

Whatever freedom we have in a free nation, is what is given to us rather than what is taken.

You have freedom of speech, but you can speak only what you are allowed to speak.

You have freedom of dress, but you can only wear what society tells you to.

You have freedom of education, but you can practice only what your neighbours plant in your parents’ mind.

You have freedom of Nationality, but you are a citizen of where you are born, you can’t deny nationality and be at peace.

You have freedom of being free, but you are free only to a limit which doesn’t violate any cultural norm.

Somehow or other, our minds are programmed to do be something and do something, but never we are free. Always there’s a wedge hanging above our necks, when the fog fades, the guillotine is visible to all.

This is democracy. The oppressed are always oppressed and the rulers rule. One who served will serve and one who lead will lead. The heirarchy is real. The classes are real. The dystopia is real. The hegemony is real. Everything inscribed in the hidden history is real and everything that will be hidden from the future is what is happening.


Why do I not reveal the actor’s name?

Because I may be an activist, but still my father is a middle class worker. He doesn’t have a political career and he never hospitalized anyone. He isn’t an oppressor or a bully. He is a common man of the nation who believes a good leader will rise.

A son of him, a son or a daughter like us, born of humble parents… Are we really worthy to speak in this country where only the powerful could speak and rule?


Roma Castro

It was Summer again. When boys of his age were happily getting fried in hot sun with stumps and balls, Romario was walking seeking the examination centre. After hours of journey in Government bus, he regretted for not talking comfy buses. It’s not just because the bus wasn’t Air conditioned or less crowded, but because he was a bitter encounter there. It wasn’t too long since he took Government buses, so he handed the same five rupees to the conductor. “Don’t you know about the price hike?”, said the conductor with a mocking tone. To not give up his pride, Roma had to give up a ten rupee not and asked the conductor to keep the change. He got insulted yet another time, when conductor said, “Wait for another two weeks brother, then you have to pay ten rupees, till then get back your change.”
Roma had no other option but to remain humble. As always, he put on his earphones and his favourite songs started playing. Moments passed and he fell asleep. But, what goes once, comes around for sure, doesn’t it?
It was 12 noon when he woke up. In his half sleepy state, he asked the fellow passenger if his destination has passed. Knowing it did, Roma had to rush to the driver and get down in the next stop, not without picking up a fight with the conductor. According to his logic, it was conductor’s duty to wake him up. He now have to walk for 15 extra blocks to get to the centre, with no clue what awaits him. Roma as usual started walking with his earphones on and loud music.
He was completely drained when he got to the centre. As the watchman didn’t allow him inside, now he had to sit out for about an hour. That’s when a girl not too old or too young, but definitely not his age, sure by her wise face, sat next to him. Having almost every encounter with girls, a not-too-good one, he pretended not having seen her and sat idle. Phone rang. “Thozhar, I’m there. No problem here. I’ll be back by evening”, she said on phone. Roma wasn’t a saint from heaven, so eavesdropping didn’t matter. A few minutes later, she tapped his shoulder. Just then, he realized, she’s been asking for water for too long. After handing the water, and almost half the bottle empty, he did something for the first time. He started a conversation with a stranger, that too, with a girl. This time, he did because, he revered communist and their ideologies and he knew that no communist would disrespect a fellow human. Thus, he started, “So, are you a communist by birth, or you became one?”. He realized how stupid this question was only after uttering those words. She looked at him with one eyebrow lifted, giving him space, time and opportunity to correct what he said.
He began to stutter, but eventually reasoned, “You said Thozhar. That’s why..”
She laughed and began talking, “My father’s a communist. I’m a communist. My entire family is a communist family”. “It’s simpler for people like you who belong to a communist family, but for people like us, we have way more difficulties to follow Communism”, said Roma in a plain tone. “Many think Communism is meant for revolting alone but actually, it is a way of living. You don’t have to protest all the time. In fact, I personally think, we, communists should hold higher positions. Apart from all these social constraints, we have personal troubles too, within our family. Yes. It’s never the same for us, but that doesn’t mean we have lesser problems. I myself should do all the household chores, take care of my sibling, get to the Student Federation of India office, help them for a while and get back to my university, work on my masters and this cycle goes on…”, when she finished this, he already begun to respect her. “Akka”, he started, “but aren’t these a mark of slavery, to carry heavy burden on shoulders, to not have a Room of one’s own?”
“You must see something clearly. Not everything is an act of chauvinism. There is silent subjugation, but worse than those are words of Women on women! Even if you provide a thousand rooms for a woman, one can never block women from there. That’s where your point loses its virtue.”
There was silence for a few moments. Roma begun again to lessen the seriousness, “What’s you name? I might’ve missed it when you mentioned earlier”. Understanding what I did, “Zoaya”… “Zoaya Castro”, she said boldly. Inevitably Roma said, “Wow” and again there was awkward silence. Again Roma started, “what’ll be your specification in Ph.D. thesis?”. Roma wasn’t paying much attention for he was preparing the next question, “Why not any -isms?”, and he begun, “When I read about feminism, it goes deeper and deeper, but my specification will be Dalitiyam. I don’t know why but growing up, not born, growing up an untouchable, offered me a lot of questions to seek answers for. Zoaya, every time when there is Nationalism, both region’s and country’s, there sufferers never revive. In Indian nationalism, Tamil people are looked down. In Tamil Desiyam, Dalits are looked down, and even amongst Dalits, there are subjugated subgroups, and then there are double marginalized women in those groups.”
Zoaya was keenly listening and calmly responded, “Why I don’t prefer doing my research in any -isms is reasoned by what you said. Because ultimately, the pre-written texts lack some truth in them, and only the literature which weren’t written but spoken has the hidden manifesto. When you want to record the plights of people who weren’t able to write for centuries and given a chance only for partial religious education as Bama’s Karukku says, how do you think written texts justify that?” Zoaya paused for a moment. “Have you read From Volga to Ganges? It has almost all the answers for your skeptic statements. No one was actually subjugated in the beginning, including women. Women excelled in both domestic and social life, in fact, they were the deciding authorities. Only after the advent of Aryans and rise of Brahminism, the framework benefiting only particular social class came into force.”
For a moment, Roma thought, and started, “Honestly, today, I see lesser dominance from Brahmins and lesser obedience from Dalits. It is the people in between these classes, who wants to be benefited by calling themselves untouchables but still won’t give up their pride and do honour killings. That’s where parpaniyam lives, and that doesn’t come by birth. Everyone who are brahmins by birth, came out of that sphere and started satirizing their own tradition. It is the intermediate people who undergo the crisis and so they do all the parlour tricks.”
“Well, undeniable. It’s evident when people didn’t gather for Cauvery issue, but they did for Jallikattu, a caste related sport. When you see carefully, only a particular group of people can rear Bulls, only their community can tame them, and if they lose or they’re about to die, only the killing of the cattle is done by the already sinned Sutra”, finished Castro.
“Are you aware of the story of Kazhumaram?”, said Romario. “Kazhumaram?”, Zoaya doubtfully, “the Tamil sport where boys will try to get on to the top of slippery round wood erected before spectators, right? What about that? Isn’t that a sport where Goddess Kali, according to the folklore, would howl and run around when the victor get on to the top?”
Romario begun, “Well, it isn’t. Once there was a Oorkavalan, watchman named Kathavarayan. As he was the only son to his widowed mother, he denied proposal of an upper caste girl, only to accept eventually. As their clandestine meeting reached the ears of the upper caste community who call themselves warriors, they decided to put an end to intercaste love. They sharpened a young tree into a wedge on one edge, showered it with oil. Kathavarayan was outnumbered and beaten black and blue. Before the news could reach his mother, the warriors made him sit on the wedge. The device created by them, was no merciless than any European crucifix. When his mother reached the arena, crowded with upper caste spectators, unable to touch them, for that’d pollute them, she ran around the crowd looking for a gap. When some people got bored of his agonizing scream in pain, they moved away. His mother entered inside the crowd only to see his son being strangled on an undefinable device with a wedge having penetrating through his anus and visible on his mouth’s opening. Being unable to speak against any upper caste beings, she could only shout with no syllable uttered in a pitch that no mortal can imagine with agony that no human can experience.
Now tell me. Do you really think Tamil sports and tradition and culture have no tint of subjugation?”

Bell rang. Castro went to her examination hall and Romario to his. Roma wasn’t even sure what happened or who learned what from whom. They sat. They discussed. After the exam, they never saw again.
Romario had to run for half a mile to catch the last bus. This time, despite knowing the fare, he asked how much it was. He has no seats to sit, but still, it was one complete journey for him.

Chastity or Subjugation?

Whenever I hear men whining, “she cheated on me”, I could only laugh and whenever women are cornered for so called “cheating”, there arises numerous questions in my mind.

Screenshot from “Lakshmi” short film.

“Lakshmi” is a short film speaking about a married woman and mother of a child, having an extra marital affair for once with someone who actually recognized her as a female. With love and care showered she surrendered her body willingly to him for Once.

After the release of the film, the social media and debate stages erupted. Some even held placards speaking meanest words about the actress of the short film. My only question was “why?”


The base:

Ahalya was carefully created by Lord Bramha himself, and handed over to sage Gautama, later rewarded her to him for his sanity and righteousness. But having her sexuality unsatisfied by Gautama who only saw her as divine creation, but not a wonan with urges, she obliges to Indra when he seduces her. Having known about this, the sage curses both, and later the curse is lifted.

Right from mythology’ s Ahalya till today’s Lakshmi, why is it considered a sin of worst order when women practice adultery?

Even in epics, there were lot of men with extra marital affairs and polygamy (yes. Extra marital affair is legalized if a man marries his amusement) and even Gods patronize lot of women, for example, Lord Shiva has Ganges, Lord Vishnu… Let’s not even go there.. (But hey, they are Gods. Whatever they do, they have an excuse and story).

But in the same epics, if a women does it, she is cursed and exiled. Why?


Because it questions the authority of men!

When a women is caged by the institution of wedding, no matter how the husband treats her, she has to obey. Even if he treats her like a sex toy or he treats her with respect alone without satisfying her sexuality, she still has to remain a good wife (a good “slave” would fit better).

When a “possession” of man is slipping off him, a possession which he acquired having the whole society as witness, is being handled better by someone, and the possessed is also happy, it ultimately makes the “rightful” possessor a laughing stock.

This non-poetical egoistic sublime of the society makes point of Motherhood, divinity, chastity and sanctity, to keep women in a delusion where she never questions any setup formed by men and believing that it is the right way to live.

In both the story, the needs of women, not just Sex but also the recognition is devoid. Ahalya was never looked upon with loveful mischievousness. Lakshmi on other hand, was only used by the husband until he is satisfied, it was plain and flat without any drama.


But sex needs drama, right?

It really does. When Sex loses its drama, the sensuality is null and the entire focus on the beings having a coitus alone is missing somewhere, any partner who loses their dignity and left unsatisfied would opt for someone who would compliment that.

Sex needs the exposition, the rising action, the climax, the falling action and the denoument like any other traditional drama. Skipping any of these would make the entire process of love making incomplete!

The setup:

When men fail to do this to women, how can anyone blame the womanhood instead of taking up collective responsibility?

Segregating women as divine and unholy is the first move made by the patriarchal society. This is easily achievable if the sensuousness of genders is challenged. When the basic urge of any human is contained, that individual is surrenders their major rights to culture and hegemony. This suppression of feelings is the blow to any community. This is a common statement of anything that is looked upon as a Taboo or uncultured act by the general society.

Now ask this question to yourself or to anyone who speaks about the chastity of women –

“Is it really only the individual’s fault when they indulge in an extra marital affair?”

When someone whines to you and speaks about anyone in deregatory terms, ask them if they had justified their companionship.





Questions I face:

When I originally spoke these, the FAQ was “would you agree if your mother decides to have an extra marital affair?” Many assumes my blogs are sermon. No. They are an expression of individual’s feelings and so, questions directed at my mother or my family would still have the same answers.

They loved in 90s and they got married. Unlike modern love of today, I don’t think the drama would be missing there. They justify each other with mutual respect without sacrifices, complementing each other.

But if you want me to answer straight, then

Yes. I wouldn’t mind. It is an individual’s freedom to decide when anyone wants. Just because she is a mother doesn’t mean she has to give up her rights. And I will not judge her. And you too try not to Judge people.

Who is anyone to authorise actions of any other individual other than themselves anyway?!


Analysis – Day out with girls

48 hours after I published “Day out with girls” (link => ), I expected atleast One to critically analyse the story. I wanted someone to do counter criticism, but too much exposure to Pop fiction, shaped their mind to see beauty in everything, but not the sway behind those.

Here is the critical analysis of the story .


Technically, the writing was influenced by A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf for the Metafiction and the Absurd qualities from Albert Camus. The writing language and style is taken from Bama’s Karukku. It is a simple first person narrative, which was received well by all groups of people.



The first person is an “I”, evidentially by the descriptions, it should be a Man. The overall story revolves around him. He is the narrator who communicates with the readers about a day with three teenage girls. He is here a representative of manhood when with women.


The first character introduced was Bubbles. She lies lifeless, with Cindrella on TV. The plot of Cindrella is well-known to everyone. It talks about a girl who falls in love with a man, but can’t be together. By watching the movie, she gratifies her existence imagining herself to escape in the realm of fairy tale. She’s needs to be brought back to life, for she thinks lying dead is peaceful.


The second character introduced was Bunn, who here is mischievous yet cultured. She knows secrets of Bubbles than anyone, which is conveyed when she says “so what if you hadn’t taken a bath, you rarely do!”. She winked at I, to make him feel uncomfortable. I pretends to not listen by burying his face in newspaper.

Here is where Culture plays a role. We all know bathing is everyday activity, but why should a guy pretend to not indulge in such talks with girls? It is because he was brought up with cultural setup where it is abnormal, to discuss those with women.

Again, When Bunn shows Horror movies to Him, he shows a little “feminity” when he’s afraid. Fear is a common emotion to everyone. But emotions too are categorized. That’s the problem there. Everything in the world is categorized into masculine and feminine.


Make-up, mentioned in next paragraph tells about how women covers their dead faces. It’s not about beauty, it’s about feelings again. Bubbles who is in grave sorrow, made herself up to look beautiful, keeping another secret from the world. When a girl reveals she’s in love, when men knew she can’t be had anymore, they subjugate them. To escape this, women don’t reveal their affairs as men do proudly.

The third character is Adyaa, who is the last minute addition. She leads us claiming that she know the routes. The mishap of girls being unable to navigate is because, they don’t travel. Their travel isn’t between the streets but along the roads. This is due to the common belief that women if roam get tanned and bring problems. They will be wooed by stupid men and girls will bear the ill name from the society, despite doing nothing wrong.


The contigency plan, when the shutter was closed, was the best example of how they work. Girls in general seem to be without proper plan, but they often have alternate ideas. Their alternate plans work better than original, but men they have a prime and go after it. This is because for men, the society opens all doors. They can enter and exit any door at ease. But women needs alternate options to somehow get what they want. In this story, it is a place.


The parking, is an example of society being favorable to girls. If it was a guy who asks the Tea-vendor to keep an eye on our bikes, the reaction woud have been different. This shows how our society have changed where women are bold enough to communicate with strangers and those strangers still think women as a weaker sex and empathise them. This is again wrong too.


Dashing cars speaks about the real plight of girls. They were unable to drive it and the man-in-charge, had to help them. The three shared remaining time and stepped down silently when it’s over. Here, men again takes up half whatever a women has. Given enough time, girls would’ve figured out how t operate the cars, but Men want their contribution in whatever a woman does. The tolerance of women is depicted there when despite a very little time, they shared it together, like women share their problems with their community. That very little time is what they expect from the world. Their Own little time, where they are themselves as girls alone.


The lavatory is a typical scenario of any date. Women have their periods and other taboo problems which are kept away from men. Whatever they do, women don’t share with men too. Both genders know about each other’s sexual organs, but still they pretend not to.

That particular paragraph alludes “The Myth of Sisyphus” by Albert Camus, where Sisyphus who was cursed by Gods to repeat the task of rolling a huge rock over the mountain, to see it roll down and again rolling it back on top again. He does this with acceptance and only when he is conscious about his fate, tragedy wins, till then he wins over tragedy. Same way, a neutral there waited. Here, the man can also be taken for a Transgender. The I is with women but can’t be one of them entirely, his Male organ, Penis, stops him from being one of them entirely.


Selfies here represents the lost attempts. Still, they were able to cheer themselves up. This is absolutely something what only women can do. Men needs someone, but women are ofte domesticized to essentialist ideas. Somehow still they figured out how to do that.


Reunion talks about the forgiving quality of girls. They met the one who was believed to be the one who gossipped about them, but still they buried alll their hatred. Same happens when there is a death or funeral in any place. People forget all their negativities and be one. For women, every day is a grieving day for what they miss and what they experience and pretend not.


What will you do if all exboyfriends come together? was the question by mischievours Bunn. The man remained calm when Bubbles chased Adya for her sarcasm. This is overall lives of women. The have endless number of interests and the world often misconceives that everyone is her lover. But as said in the fist paragraphs, only Bubbles knows her sorrows. Still she manages to cheer up. These sorrows are not even known by women who knows physically intimate details about her.

When Bunn tries to say something, a senior comes along who is a Man. As how culture instructed, the girl silently subjugates herself. She, who was bold and cheerful, suddenly was shadowed and made herself invisble. This begins at home when mothers refuses to sit near and equal to fathers in family unions. Maybe in private but who watches inside bathrooms? Socialy Public acceptance is what we need.


The next two paragraphs tells us how the society never lets women express. Many words of the women are left unspoken for women need a definite Time to speak unlike women. Girls do this because right from home, they watch their dependant mothers doing it with the men of the family. These girls inherit that from them and use it on father figures. Twice, Bunn tires to say something personal which is assumably known to him already, but never once she completed it.


The bike ride is the allegorical ride which speaks about little things that matters for a girl. Bubbles, who wants to spend a little more time with freedom, chose to express it. But again, girls aren’t aware what cages are. They know what freedom is, but somehow they grow inside the cage and so they aren’t aware of it like men do.

The darkness was so much that the unnoticed stars, due to invention of bulb by Edison and locomotives by Stevenson which causes light and air pollution, became visible. This is deeply social.

Accomplished women are very fewer in numbers. They get their spotlights and so we see them without efforts. But still there are distant women burning in hegemonic fire, who are forgotten. People and leaders looking at these few women, make the masses believe that women attained liberation. The metropolitan urban women too forget about the Other (ref. The Second Sex). Hence Bubbles relates herself to the stars in the sky and forgets what she wants to speak to “Aru”, which again has no gender.

Towards the end, when she’s done with escapism, again is interrupted while she tries to speak. Before she could even speak, the journey ends. This is the plight of women. They have a lot to speak, but they finally get a spot, a space to speak, it is too late. Women get their own space by age 25, but the cultured setup defined it as “Wedding age”. Before a girl could even speak, when she’s shown freedom, she’s only taken to put in another cage.

In the end, the one who couldn’t speak, never let to speak, had his own time. “He turned back to see if the lights on” speaks about man’s love. The story is not just about how women’s freedom, but also about how a man is instructed to love. He can’t love like girls do. He has his own reservations to love, because that’s how his father loved his mother. He feels not equal but responsible, he thinks himself to protect as how many men guards like a father figure. The “I” here could be a father figure too. That’s why the name wasn’t made open. For names represent everything in the society.

All the four characters in the society are representations of forgotton, common Other. This might be unrelatable to the people of Urban Jungle, but to a diaspora this is very well their whole life.


The story is still open and mutiple interpretation can be made. The girls is the story are weak because they represent the forgotton stars not the bright lights. The “I” is a round character which could be a man, a transgender, a father or even Consciousness of the world, who silently observes everything, who alone accompanies Girls all the time in their life.

The story has psychological, philosophical and social significance which can be seen only if you consider the “Other” when you think.





This is my first short story. Available in the previous blog => .

Thank you.